The beauty of children...even in the toughest times

As a working mother, sometimes I get so caught up in “keeping my schedule,” I forget to just take time to enjoy all the people in my life. One of the most precious people that God has given me is my daughter. Despite the fact that she is only seven, she seems to have this sense of perception and wisdom that is far beyond her years. She has taught me so much more about life than I ever imagined I could learn on my own.

Recently, I was given a sobering reminder of how precious life truly is and what a gift it is to spend time with our loved ones. Experiencing loss is hard enough, but to have to help a child understand it can seem like an insurmountable task. The fear of her initial reaction almost paralyzed me and yet I found that it was almost exactly the opposite of what I’d expected.

I’d told myself that I had to find the strength to support her and help her work through her emotions. As I struggled to find the right words to say to explain the situation to her, she like always, seemed to already know. When I began to explain this tragedy to her, a little smile appeared on her face and she looked at me and her father and said, “He is with Jesus.” Her strength was a breathtaking reminder that God is always with us.

Even now, as I continue to try to make peace with the situation, she has helped me. When I am overcome with sadness, it is during those times that she reminds me of how much she loves me and how special I am to her. I know that I am staring in the face of God in the form of His little angel on Earth and she is reminding me of His everlasting love and mercy; even in the most difficult of times.

In the Midst of Winter...

Christmas and New Year's have come and gone and we are on our way in 2011. So far, we have been enjoying basketball. Carl is of course, coaching Kyah's team again. It's so wonderful to see him coach and do something special for his little team and to watch him and Kyah develop a relationship that is truly their own. The "Icebreakers" really are turning out to be a pretty good little team! We've only had a few games so far, but this week our practice and game schedule have been affected by a winter storm that has hit most of North Texas.

I personally think the ice and snow came with all this Super Bowl hoopla and hope it will leave with it too. I will say that if there is anything good about this weather, its that it has allowed us to spend some quality time together. But I am genuinely ready for Spring and Summer! Here are some photos of the last few months of this winter season...enjoy!

Christmas is in the Air

Well,its definitely feeling a lot like Christmas in the Branch household. This weekend has been filled with many reminders of what the season is truly about, Christ, family and friends. My husband and I took our daughter to see the Nutcracker Ballet and it was a nice performance, but I think it might be wise to wait at least another year or two before we try a two-hour ballet again with her.

Today, while we were together,my parents cooked us all the most wonderful "Christmas" dinner and I had a chance to laugh enjoy the afternoon with my siblings. It felt like we were kids again, except we have the great company of my husband and my brother-in-law and all of our kids!

It was so great to see my mom and dad enjoy all of us for the day. I am so fortunate to have such a great family and thank God for them. This holiday season has been filled with many blessings so far and I hope that there are many more to come.

This is an older photo of us...but none of us have really changed much.

Happy Holidays!

Ode to My Cathedral

I was recently sent a passage or as I would like to think of it, an infinitely wise word from GOD, by a coworker. While reading, I began to cry as I realized the special club that I joined almost seven years ago. "The Invisibles"...is a group that I am proud to say I am a part of...read on and you will understand.


Invisible Mother.....

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'

Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this??

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude -but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!?

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England . Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it. And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does.

No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become. At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'You're going to love it there.'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

A Soccer Invasion

That's right the three bees have added soccer to the sports repertoire! Our sports journey has led us to the Metropolitan YMCA soccer program, where my daughter is playing and... get ready for this.... my husband is coaching! Yes, my husband who knows absolutely nothing about soccer is a coaching our daughter's team. This may seem like a bad idea, but in truth its been really good. He volunteered to do it out the kindness of his own heart. The five and six year old division was without a coach and for fear of letting all those wonderful kids down, he stepped up to the challenge and I, as his partner in all that we do, have signed on as team mom.

We've only had one practice and one game thus far, but its been interesting already! Although they didn't win, team "Sting" had a fabulous time and really that is all that matters! Our second practice and game were both canceled due to rain, but we are looking forward to coming out eager and strong next week. I have added a few photos from the first game...so I hope you enjoy! Stay tuned for more updates!

Life's moments...

As the weeks have turned into months, I have watched two of my co-workers blossom along what will become a sweet but sometimes painful journey that many of us know as motherhood. While I listen to their worry and excitement for all the new things to come; I am reminded of my own little one and the joy she brings me each day. You see, there is nothing else on Earth that can describe what it is like to be able to create and watch over another life, a life so close to your own you can almost feel their heart beat. Everyday you are filled with so much love,hope, nervous anxiousness, and awe...all at the same time. To be able to watch a piece of you grow little by little each day into a beautiful strong and little person is a gift that only GOD could provide.

When she was a little bit younger(she is only at the tender age of 6)... she'd always ask me to sing to her. I always had my favorite and I would not hesistate to oblige her, because to her it didn't matter that I didn't have the perfect pitch or that I may have messed up the words... to her it was beautiful. Some time has passed and she hadn't asked me to sing to her in a while, but last night as I lay her down almost half asleep already, she lay with her eyes closed and just as I kissed her and prepared to walk out, I heard a little voice request to hear "some people" as she calls Alicia Keys' song titled, "If I Aint Got You".



I turned and asked her why she'd chosen tonight to have me sing that song to her and she said to me in a half sleep/half awake voice, "Because you won't be here when I wake up in the morning,(my ER shift begins at 6am) and whenever I miss you the most I always remember 'some people'(a song I sang religiously to her as a baby and a toddler)." I choked back my tears and prepared myself to give her the best rendition I could muster up despite the lump in my throat and as I sang I saw her drift farther and farther into sleep with an angelic smile on her face, I knew that this was one of the moments I would remember for the rest of my life.

I have posted a few pics of my sweet girl...I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

Hooray Friday!!

I always look forward to going to work everyday, because I can't wait to see what challenges or learning experiences await me, but, I have been so anxious to get through this week because of course, Mother's day is coming!!(Wow, that's a huge run on sentence!)I can't wait to see what my little toot has created for me this year. I am always so touched by how hard she works on her projects. She gets so excited and secretly, I do too. Whatever it is I know I will treasure it because it comes directly from her little heart. And what more could a mother ask for?

Sweet Moments...The Joys of Motherhood

Many people know that to have a child is truly a blessing, but you can never truly know what this means until you become a parent and experience it first hand. There is nothing like a crooked little smile or beautiful big eyes staring at you and knowing without a doubt that you are the most amazing person in the whole world. Yes, this journey called motherhood has been a most challenging and yet extremely rewarding one. My thoughts take me to a couple of days ago when my daughter, Kyah, verbalized once again how much she dislikes when I have to work weekends.
Of course, it hurts me just as much to hear her say this and ask why I have to work and be away from her, but what is a working mother to do? It is very hard to push yourself through the door when you have a pair of sad little eyes asking you when you will be back. Unfortunately, I know this scenario all too well. On Saturday, this familiar scene played itself out yet again and I was left with the same response as usual, "Mommy has to help take care of our family...and I will be home again before you know it!"
Being the child that she is, she looks at me and asks,"How many hours do you have to work again?" And I, aching inside, respond to her..."12." Without a word she makes a facial expression that I have seen many times before... "the thinker" I call it. She leans over and gives me 12 sweet kisses, 6 on each cheek. Admiring her bravery and selflessness, I clinched my teeth to hold back my tears. Her sweet bravery made me stronger than I could ever imagine. Oh, the joys of motherhood.

Wow... I find myself being really consistent with inconsistency, if that even makes sense. I promised myself that this year I would be a more dedicated blogger, yet my primary roles as wife and working mother have taken precedence. Don't get me wrong, I love being all of these things, I just wonder sometimes how I am really able to do it all and have time to just be me. But, in the rare moments when I am still and quiet, I am reminded of God's presence in my life each day. You see, I am only as strong as my belief. This certainty, otherwise known as faith, is the only reason why I succeed. I have learned that God has not made my life so that I can stand still. He has made me a mover, a doer, an influencer, and most importantly, a follower of His will.

The blogging will come more consistently, when God has it in the plans for me. For now, I will continue to push forward on faith and know that He has it all worked out and I should just follow.
Right now, he is pointing me in a direction that is making me strong, stronger than I ever thought I could be. So maybe it will be a day, a week, a month or even a year, but I will still be the me I am supposed to be only more attuned to God's plan and my greater will.

Back in the Saddle

Wow!! Its been some time since my last post. Well, fortunately for all the readers nothing much has changed, but my little family and I have become more active over the past few months. My hubby has dedicated himself to a regular workout routine and my daughter and I share in the joys of the Nintendo Wii game system. It has proved to be worth every penny. Especially for sports enthusiasts like us!! The holidays were great and brought about a surprisingly nice time for the three of us. The snow on Christmas Eve will probably most memorable!! I quite sure my husband was more excited than our daughter (or just as excited if you ask me). We enjoyed a quiet Christmas and rang in the New Year with some new friends who sort of share our affinity for sports. So all in all this year's shaping up nicely... although its a bit too early to attempt any further predictions. Hopefully this year will be the birth of many new things for us. I can't wait to see what life has in store. One thing I do know is that finding out is the best part of the journey.

So... its been a little while since my last entry and I have to say that I was a little worked on my last post. I am just appalled at the things that the human race is capable of. I know that I am not without fault ( as I have said before) but I do have morals, something I think alot of people are lacking these days. But, enough of that,today will be a happy post.
Just a little update... I am scheduled to go on a two week vacation a week from today. I have to say that I am so overjoyed by this. There are a million things that I want to do, but most of all... spend time with my princess. We have also decided to take a mini-vacation to Port Aransas,Texas. If all goes according to planned, I can look forward to my first dolphin encounter later next week. ( Wait for those photos!!)
Until then, I am trying my very best to stay focused in my job responsibilities and prepare for some much needed rest and relaxation!! I also plan to go to a few sporting events and take a tour of the Dallas Cowboys stadium during my time off. ( Hubby will enjoy this, I'm sure)

That's all for now....stay tuned.

TimeOut

As I continue to follow the issue with North Korea and after hearing about Steve McNair, I feel it necessary to weigh in on the state of mankind. I am by no means an expert... and certainly have my share of transgressions as well, but I am beginning to wonder if I am alone in my being woeful (from a religious standpoint) about the state of our values and morals.

On the day that we Americans celebrate our own independence we are slapped in the face with constant looming fears of foreign threats as well as the threat of a nation slipping farther and farther away from demanding accountablity for actions. It is our duty as a Democracy to disspell threats of those who threaten freedom and impose and unwanted way of life upon others. Until recently,I have had no doubt that we are capable of becoming peacemakers, as we are a superpower.

A growing problem,within our own borders seems to be plaguing the nation. Infidelity has been around for centuries and I doubt that it will ever really go away, but recently it has become an increasingly destructive problem that receives so much attention. I am just worried about the state of our morals and values these days.
I don't really follow football that closely, but I did know of Mr. McNair and he seemed to be an outstanding ball player and person on and off the field. What I can't understand... and I don't proclaim to know the insides of his relationship with his wife, but what in the world causes a man to make such poor decisions?!!
The outlook for marriage in general is dismal. In general,I just don't feel like people are willing to compromise in order to make marriage work. After all, I was told that's what it's all about. Communication and compromise....and above all else GOD!! Holding on to Him will get you through the lowest and toughest of times and He will help you to see things through to the other side. I not naive enough to think that every marriage is going to work and last forever and don't want anyone to think that I believe in the idea of staying married no matter what. My message is this... there will be problems... every relationship promises this... there will be times when you want to quit, when you feel like there is no way out but there always is when you turn to GOD. If you are thinking about stepping outside of your marriage to find happiness, just remember... He knows all and sees all and those who live in his favor will receive his blessings. And we ALL are in need.

Happiness is defined as good fortune, pleasure, contentment and joy or the state of being happy.

My definition: Happiness is waking up with the sunshine on Sunday morning, glancing over at the man who you have chosen to spend the rest of your life with and knowing that today is going to be a good day.

It's watching your child play everyday and cherishing the beautiful smile on her face. It's knowing that she is proof of the many wonderful works of our creator. And,in some small part she is wonderful because of you, but even more so because you gained the wisdom to know when to call on GOD for help along the way.

Happiness is thinking about your family and life and being thankful that today things are a little messed up but knowing that tomorrow brings another day... believe it or not this builds strength.

The state of being happy is this... Knowing who you are, where you stand, what you stand for and realizing that each day we spend on this Earth is a gift from GOD. One in which we should be thankful for. So, whoever you are and wherever you are right now, remember these words from two of my most cherished quotes: "We are not what we have been, but what we will become," "Do all things with love".

Above all else remember that life is a journey and it should be a happy one... do what makes you happy and don't worry about the walls outside of that.

Our daughter is one of the most amazing people I know I'm ever going to meet. Each day she awakes with a "newness" that I find so revitalizing(yes the saying is true... they do keep you young). Although she is slow to rise,much like her father, when she does it is pure sunshine.

I have never witnessed a child with such a strong sense of faith and innate understanding of the world around her. I still don't feel like I can take credit for it though, I believe it's just God doing his work. Yesterday, she awoke with a mission. Getting to her school library was very high on the priority list. Even though I knew I would be tired and probably not the most pleasant mommie,I found myself wanting to rush the workday away to get her there. As we drove out to her school, she was the typical five-year old, laughing and singing really loud in the backseat. But once we arrived at school, her entire demeanor changed. I initially thought, it was just the shock of being at school, but she began to point out some of the things she's been missing since summer vacation began. She talked about the walks that her class would take to look for God's creations and how she missed walking to church on Fridays with her prayer partner in her "dress uniform." As she went on pointing out other things,I realized how these simple things mean so much to her and how perhaps this is what gives her that "newness" each day.

Whatever the case, it inspired me to revisit the practice of writing a gratitude journal and finding joy and thankfulness in the simplest moments of life. If my five-year old can renew her spirit each day with such a simple act, I think its something anyone could benefit from.

MVPs

As Father's Day approaches, I thought it would be a good idea to dedicate this post to the wonderful men in my life.

My husband has made such an evolution. I have watched him over the course of the last five years go from being "Mr. Hip and Cool" to "Mr. Its Okay to Wear Princess Crowns and Dance Around Like a Fairy". He seems to delight in each dance and she glows as he goes through his series of made up motions anticipating the climactic lift that comes at the end of each number. Despite my hysterical laughs, each time I watch, I fall more and more in love. Despite,not having the presence of a father growing up,somehow along his journey of fatherhood,God has graced him with the wisdom and patience it takes to be a good father. I see the unconditional love glow in his eyes each time he looks at her... a love that I have been fortunate enough to know myself because of another very special man.

My father has managed, despite tragedy, to emerge stronger and wiser than I feel he ever was before and I remain amazed by him every day. Growing up, faith and religion had a strong presence in our house and it is because of him and my mother that I value the importance of creating the same household for my own child. Through the years my father has encouraged me, kept me strong when I felt broken and encouraged my fighting spirit. He has molded me into the determined person that I am today. A lot of people underestimate the power of the presence a father can have in a girl's life... it is momentous. The confidence and pride in my beauty, and who I am and what I can become has been priceless. He has taught me to believe in the impossible and that I can do anything. I want to thank my dad for making me such a well rounded woman(with gentle guidance from my mother as well) and giving me the quiet wisdom I've needed throughout some of my roughest storms.

I want to thank my husband for being a dollhouse playing, fairy dancing, backyard ball playing, turning ordinary into extraordinary kinda dad.

Happy Father's Day Guys!!

Nice Assist

Recently, my daughter decided she wanted to try something new this summer. In previous years, aside from hanging out with her father and I, she has spent many enchanted afternoons as a fairy princess with wild pigtails ruling a kingdom with the fair maiden cousin Zoie or in swim classes pretending to be a mermaid. Running a kingdom seemed to suit her well,but being a mermaid required a little more. She is still not used to the idea of water in her face.
Because of this, in addition to realizing that playing sports with little boys on the playground at school can be fun, she very graciously decided that she would play soccer this summer.
Having very little strength in refusing her of reasonable desires, we agreed. The only trouble was finding a soccer camp that actually fit our schedules. Most of the ones that I called had schedules that run from morning to midday and as a dual income family, this certainly didn't work. I tried calling around to a few others and was unsuccessful. I began preparing myself for the sad look on her little face when I would break the news to her. Disappointed, I decided to put in on the back burner for a little while.
Upon my arrival home yesterday, I walked to my front door and wedged between the frame and the door was a tiny card. Annoyed, because things are hung on our door frequently, I pulled it out to see who was peddling their lawn care service this time. For a moment,I stood in disbelief staring at an advertisement for Soccer Bible Camp, at a time and price my husband and I could afford. I smiled,took into the house and showed it to Carl and quickly followed the instructions for online registration.

Quietly, I thought about how on time God is and decided that in more situations than this one, it was His way of telling me to not give up.

As we embark upon a new week, we have had to say goodbye to a dear friend and church member over the weekend. I am always nervous about having to explain the facts of life to my daughter and this was definitely a first. So... how do you help a 5-year old understand death when they look at you with those innocent eyes, not knowing that this condition, at some point, will claim us all? Despite the intense stare into my eyes,she seemed to take the news well.
I asked her if she had any questions and she gently replied... "No, not right now mommy."
Now, I still consider myself a younger mother, one that has not quite been gifted with knowing all the right things to say, but I found myself calm and ready to conquer whatever popped into that little head.
Moments later, as I knew it would come, she walked over to me and very seriously asked, "Momma, how do you get to heaven?"
I took a deep breath and explained that being strong in your faith, and staying close to God by praying and asking him to keep you humble is how. She seemed to be satisfied with that answer and returned to her thoughts of color pages, crayons and the like. And I, feeling very proud that I had been given the words to help her understand, found myself thinking about how life has a way of reminding you of the things that are most important. We may not always know the right things to say, but I am sure that will come with more experience.

What I know for sure is this... He sent her to us to bring us back to Him.

First Pitch

The first blog... I couldn't decide if this endeavor should follow our family lifestyle and have sports-themed analogies or if that would be too corny. My decision: maybe it will and maybe it won't as unpredictability is part of our lifestyle as well so...stay tuned.